Droning and drinking and driving

You knew this was coming, just as laws are coming to a state near you. Almost every motorist is guilty of it, even if it's just the typical "I'm on the way home. Bye." call. Some people claim "I can do it", and I'm sure some folks are better than others, but that doesn't justify you going 40 in a 60 zone.
So we innovate; look ma! No hands! We create Bluetooth devices that fit in your ear like a single wireless headphone and even built-in Bluetooth technology running through car stereo speakers and a small microphone. So you can yell at a microphone situated between the windshield and car roof, so it looks to other drivers like you're berating your rearview mirror. Some will argue that these handsfree devices are still distracting, although to a lesser degree. But it can't hurt to have both hands to operate your vehicle. Have you ever tried to drive a manual while talking on the phone? It's hard!
Droning and driving is a skill, some people have a knack for it, the same way gifted guzzlers can operate a vehicle pretty proficiently after a few too many adult bevys. And while I can certainly type up a storm on the wireless keyboard without looking down, I would never dream of texting on the open road. "I don't even have to look at the keys" a friend recently told me over appetizers, "keep your freaky dangerous skill to yourself! Do you want to get us killed?" I said. Have you ever seen someone break out a paperback or the daily paper while waiting at a light? I once saw this bearded old man consult what looked like a Dead Sea scroll while at the wheel. Another time I spied a college student banging out a first draft of his term paper on a tablet PC, but hey, at least he used his turn signal when he cut me off. And I must admit, there's nothing better than solving a five star difficulty rating sudoku puzzle whilst plowing through a tollbooth. The only thing I'm convinced no one should attempt: drunk dialing and driving - please, for the sake of humankind, don't tell your ex you love them while weaving in and out of freeway lanes.